Love…and Love Well

Here’s an old document that I had saved…since I haven’t published a post in a while and don’t have a lot of time to write one…I figured this one could go public.
Every day Meredith and I work with people who are hurting and broken. These are people who are seeking healing and truth. They are looking for real answers. They don’t want to hear “you are ok” or “you’ll be fine”. They want the real truth and they are willing to struggle and walk through hell to get it.
They need someone to listen. They don’t need to be told that the way they feel, the anger they have, the addiction they struggle with or any other behavior is wrong…they already know it. That’s why they are talking with us. They know that their lives are in shambles. They want peace, they want joy and they want to feel whole again. They don’t like the pain that they are causing for themselves and for others, but they can’t get past it…they need help.
They may start as our “clients” but very quickly become our “friends”. When someone becomes a friend it changes everything. You try to understand a friend, to help them and to love them well. I’ll tell you something else that happens when you truly care about people and they are your friends…you get angry when other people do damage to your friend. You get angry when your friend is struggling to overcome and work through a behavior and are attacked and belittled by others.
One of the biggest struggles we face is overcoming the judgment and words of condemnation they have received from “well meaning” Christians and the church. They want to believe that there is a God who loves them, but they certainly have not seen that love displayed by those who are supposed to be representing Him. They hear things like “that is horrible” “you’re nothing but a ______” (fill in the blank with any sin that you want – drug addiction, porn, same sex attraction or murder). I am not aware of anyone submitting their lives to Christ because they were told that they are going to hell because of ________.
Our problem as Christians is that it is easier to condemn someone than to walk through the pain and mess in their lives. It’s easier to throw stones than to sit and hear the pain and confusion that has caused the behaviors that we are sure God won’t forgive. We want to show them where they are wrong instead of understanding how they got to where they are. It seems we are too quick to display tough love than to love them through their junk.
Now don’t get me wrong…Jesus did care about the behavior, but He was much more interested in the person. Jesus never approved sin, but He loved the people who committed sin…and it’s a good thing He did or we would all be up a creek without a paddle. Jesus was truly an example of hating sin but loving people. For those who say you can’t separate the two…I’m sorry but you’re wrong. It is absolutely possible to love someone but hate their behavior. If you don’t think it’s so…you’ve never had children. There were many things that my children did that kept me up at night, but I never stopped loving them.
So let’s try something new. Let’s take the time to listen. Let’s show them that they are loved by our ability to stand with them when others are condemning them. Let’s sit quietly and listen to their stories. Let’s just love them…and love them well.